Alfa Romeo Forums banner

1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
312 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
At Last I Understand
By: Carl Schroder
Romeo & Guilietta, April 1986

A sheet of paper crossed my desk the other day and as I read it, realization of a Basic Truth came over me. So simple! So obvious we couldn't see it! John Kulvinen, chairman of the Palomar Repeater Committee, an amateur radio group, I think, has discovered what make integrated circuits work. He says that SMOKE is the thing that makes IC's work because
everytime you let the smoke out of an IC it stops working!!!! He claims to have verified this by frequent observation and testing.

I was flabbergasted! Of course! Smoke makes all things electrical work. Remember the last time smoke escaped from your Lucas voltage regulator? Didn't it quit working? I sat and smiled like an idiot as more of the Truth dawned. It's the wiring harness that carries smoke from one device to another in your Alfa and when the harness springs a leak, it lets the smoke out of everything all at once and then nothing works. The starter motor requires large quantities of smoke to operate properly, that's why the wire going to it is so big!
Feeling very smug, I continued to expand my hypothesis. Why are Lucas electrics more likely to leak smoke than, say, Bosch? Hmmmm, aha! Lucas is British! Things British always leak! British convertible tops leak water. British engines leak oil. British displacer units leak hydrolastic fluid. British Government leaks defense secrets. Naturally! British electrics leak smoke.

With thanks and apologies to "Dick", the unknown author of this piece, which
came to me on a well-worn office hand-around.
b
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,417 Posts
Great insights. Now I know why sealed batteries were invented.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
58 Posts
Two thoughts on this work of insightful genius:
First, not everything on Star Trek smoked when it stopped working...
Second, how come all of the Mexicans belching smoke down I30 still have jobs? They smoke and DON't have Green cards. Some interesting physics at work, here....Dan
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Top