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Worst Pain In The Rear?????

6K views 41 replies 27 participants last post by  253721 
#1 ·
OK, we've all run into those tasks that should be straightforward or at least they were on a dozen or so cars you've owned and wrenched on previously. But now you're tinkering on an Alfa and to be charitable, it's a different world........very different.

I've only been around the BB a short time but I've read much of the travails, the humiliation, the degradation, and the resignation over any number of jobs that were no sweat on a Mustang, an MG, an old BMW, but leave a decent home mechanic in despair, the floor covered with every darned tool you own,
plans for the evening ruined, the ol' lady PO'd. Of course wife inevitably says, "why didn't you just PAY somebody to to that?" Naturally she doesn't understand that there isn't a shop within 500 miles that'll touch an Alfa with a 36" wobble extension.

I'd love to hear your worst. Let's think of it as a kind of group therapy.

I'll start. Just this afternoon I had the pleasure of R&R of the passenger seat in my S4. Lord have mercy, no wonder Italy always lost its wars. Don't even mention changing a shifter boot on this car.

OK, let's hear your sad story.
 
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#3 ·
sloboy89,

Those door limit straps are sitting in a package on my bench.......I'm waiting for the planets to get into the right alignment 'fore I try THAT one.
 
#4 ·
Electric windows. I had the door panel off so many times I can do it with my eyes closed. Never did get it fixed. Wound up spending money for a new part.
 
#7 ·
whats difficult about door check strap ? I R/R the whole thing, bought assemblies from classic alfa and in they went in 15 minutes. Granted, getting the 10mm bolts started is a little finicky but nothing tough about it for me. 1971 S2.

Ball joints? Need the alfa tool for upper and lower, off they come.

Biggest hassle -- setting up preload on crown wheel in differential. Trial and error. no other way to do it that I have found

Most cuts on hands? Install spider dash (pro tip, use a heat gun to soften the vent tubes and get them over the vents and make sure the turn signal indicator is placed correctly before you install the dash)

HIgh frustration ? Removing frozen phillips head screws from seat tracks.

and how can we leave off finding the source of oil leaks?
 
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#9 ·
whats difficult about door check strap ? I R/R the whole thing, bought assemblies from classic alfa and in they went in 15 minutes. Granted, getting the 10mm bolts started is a little finicky but nothing tough about it for me. 1971 S2.
Things got a lot tighter in the door as time progressed, with increased reinforcement and power window motors.
 
#8 ·
These cars are as simple as it gets for the DIYer...Some jobs are tricky and take some noodling but once done in the proper sequence it is very satisfying. Unfortunately that sequence isn't always covered for every task in the manuals. As with all disassembly and reassembly, there is a right way and a wrong way and it is amazing how rapidly things go south if started the wrong way.. This website has helped me immeasurably. Don't despair.. be thankful you aren't working on a Citroen or a Lancia. The only tool I wish i had in my old age after working on these for nigh 35 year is a LIFT and a set of bifocals that work when the subject is almost touching my nose. And yes, the right tools are necessary. I have at least 25 screw drivers and they all serve a purpose. And BE THANKFUL for this website and the internet.
 
#17 ·
These cars are as simple as it gets for the DIYer...Some jobs are tricky and take some noodling but once done in the proper sequence it is very satisfying. Unfortunately that sequence isn't always covered for every task in the manuals. As with all disassembly and reassembly, there is a right way and a wrong way and it is amazing how rapidly things go south if started the wrong way.. This website has helped me immeasurably.
I totally agree with this. My experience has been completely the opposite of the OP's. I find my Alfa very simple simple and straightforward to work on. It's a great classic to own for somebody like me with limited mechanical ability like me. In general easy to work on and parts readily available.

Try to do ANYthing on a modern Audi and this is your life. Five systems need to be removed or disassembled to get to the one you're working on. So frustrating.
^^^^ This. My 2005 A4 stymied me so many times I lost count. And parts were super expensive. I spent far more money on pro mechanics for that car than any other I've owned. I loved that her with all of my heart but she stabbed me in the back! Never again.
 
#10 ·
You wanna list?

Where to begin?

Why do we need to remove a whole bunch of unrelated things just to do a simple job?

3rd worst: Engine mountings
2nd worst: Removing the starter (I just battled OK)
Worst by far: Removing the heater box

A few years ago a wise person on this board likened the spider design process to some guy in the workshop putting a heater box on the workshop floor, and everyone else building a car around it.

I'm sure there are others but those three jump to mind.

I have lost more blood, and sustained more painful injuries while working on this car than any other; BUT I once had a drive around Chapmans Peak (beautiful twisty coastal road in Cape Town) on a sunny day when everything on the spider worked perfectly... That trip bordered on a religious experience.
 
#12 ·
too funny.. I am cursed I mean blessed to own a 164 and a S3 AND I get to fix things on them at the same time... I think they talk to each other at night. Spider wise I took my door panel off and disabled the window mechanism since the power didnt work...I used a small 1x2 to hold the window up when i wanted it up.. then one day I saw this funny looking tool in the glove box. hmm what is this for? Oh look an owners manual.. lol it is used to raise and lower the window if the power doesn't work.. ahh that is why there is a hole in the door panel.. oh well... someone mentioned changing the shift boot cover whatever... mine was falling apart. got a new one...
took the center console out and hey look at this switch the wires are pulled out.. what does this do ? ahh it is the window switch.. I wonder... )pushes wires back into the switch.. naw yes the window works! puts boot on re-installs console puts window mechanism back together.. yay power window and a new a new shifter boot. ! puts door panel back on.. nice..

Now to figure out the banging noise in the drive train.. I had someone replace that rubber donut thing but it still thuds somewhat when taking up drive from a stop... I wiggled the drive shaft at the diff end and there is play... sighs

But the joy and excitement I get when I drive either of these cars..:)
 
#13 ·
Passenger side motor mount is no fun at all on the Bosch injected Spiders! But overall, I think Alfas of this era make a lot of sense design-wise, and are no tougher than most others to work on. But read up first on the job, before you start wrenching, if you have questions. That's the best approach, IMO.

That's where this BB is so valuable. Hats off to all you contributors out there!
 
#16 ·
Getting the wheels balanced on my '69 GTV.

How hard can this be??

took it to the local tire shop, they cross threaded one of the lugs and was not able to get the lug off. Had to get a new stud and lug from alfaholics. went back with the new parts and they stripped another stud! Then they gave up. They told me they were afraid of my car and offered me a full refund because they did not want to deal with it. I countered with paying them but letting me work along side of them using their lift and tools. They went for it. (pretty cool as they are a national chain.) I worked along with their guys. I had them borrow a die set to clean off the stud from the shop down the street. It took us working together the whole day (figuring out how to get the lug off, etc...) but we got it done.
 
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#21 ·
those freakin' springs on the hand/park brake pads!

......my car was on a lift, up in the air (so, easy job methinks)
I was literally hanging off the little fat sob handbrake spring, my whole weight, feet off the ground, whilst my brother was trying to twist the end inwards to get it to locate.

(just consider Luigi at the factory, this thing is passing by on the conveyor belt, and his mate throws him a set of hand brake shoes...Hey Luigi, quick, fit these!)

Images of Charlie Chaplin, Modern Times:)
 
#22 · (Edited)
As I said previously... knowing the proper sequence is critical and noodling will get you there.. Leverage is a mechanic's most valuable helper..The only thing I would do different is try to attach both springs before locating the shoes and prying them apart to locate the adjuster before resorting to the bottom spring stretching on. PS I've never done it.https://video.search.yahoo.com/sear...=e4b14dba09bcfbfea6f86c22a2ea0961&action=view
 
#24 ·
A couple spring to mind for me...
- Realising you've mixed up the 'long' and 'short' 105 handbrake cables, after the park brakes are reassembled.
- Replacing Milano/75 heater fan resistor unit, tucked beautifully in behind the heater unit.
- 105 steering column hub key which doesn't want to sit still when trying to install hub/wheel.
- realising that was just one tap, twist or lever too many...
 
#25 ·
Worst pain the rear? Undoubtedly it’s setting crown wheel preload and crown/pinion depth and lash. Everything else in the rear is pretty simple!!!!?
 
#27 ·
Sorry guys, but I enjoy working on my Alfa's. Patience is important. I watch videos or read articles here. Then I look at the job - I look at the parts and I imagine them off the car. Then I watch the videos again or re-read the article. Then I get all my tools together and begin the job. Yes, I'll admit that I sometimes wonder why I have to take so many other parts off to get to something simple. But it's okay, since it gives me time to reflect on the job I'm doing and what it'll do for my car.

I've worked on a lot of my own cars since high school. The GM stuff!!! Why do they put a socket only accessible bolt on the top front shock (of the 70's and early 80's cars)? If there's even a hint of rust on the threads (shock shaft), the bolt gets stuck and the shaft and bolt turn as one piece. There's a special tool they sell that holds the shaft (at the top), while you gain access to the bolt. A teenager barely has enough money to buy new shocks and has $0 left over for special tools!

Why does Chevy put the engine so far back that you can't get to the right rear plug - not even through the wheel well?

Why does Volvo put such a cheap blower motor in their 240 series cars, then bury it under everything in the dash, so a normal 1 hour job becomes a one or two day job with skinned knuckles!

Why does Infiniti install the starter on an M45 under all the suspension parts, so all the bolts except the last one is accessible? I couldn't figure it out, so I left it there with a flat spot.

Why does Chrysler install the entire front body of the car around the engine? It's by far the hardest car to get that huge 413 CI V8 out of - yes I did it and it was tough, with a lot of bouncing and pushing. Now imagine getting it back in! An all night event.

Why does Jaguar make nearly everything on their XJ series straight six an impossibility to access and fix. Open the hood on a mid 90's with the 4.0L straight six - there's no room under the hood to do anything!

Why does VW design their cars, so when you have to do a timing belt on a Jetta, the entire front end of the car needs to come off? Bumper, AC Condenser, radiator, etc.

Why does Toyota and Nissan put the knock sensor so low in their V6 engine so that everything on the top has to come out? Intake manifold, throttle body, etc. And while you're down there, you may as well change the coolant hose (that sits between the two heads).

Why does Mercedes put the transmission controller inside the transmission? I know that other manufacturers also do it, but aren't electronics (chips) suppose to stay cool? Isn't the inside of a transmission pretty hot? The wrong place for a computer, right?

Why does BMW place the oil separator on top of the valve cover (on E90's) and then glue them in, so you damage the plastic when trying to remove it?

Why does Hyundai put a cheap pot metal part in the steering column (of the Sonata), so at 70K miles it breaks causing a click and looseness in the steering wheel, but the part is buried in the steering column, so has to be dismantled?

Lastly, why does Tesla make cars that don't have a soul? And why are people buying them???? You can't work on one and if you get into an accident, your body shop can't get parts to fix it.

So, I'll take the mechanical work that my Alfa Spiders need - things that I can fix while I'm on the road (or side of the road). Things that I understand how they work, so if I don't have the right part, I can rig it up so I can get my car home or to a friendly shop! And, I get the bonus of being able to drive a mechanical masterpiece! A car that puts me in touch with the road. A car that lets me experience driving how it was meant to be - open air, all the aromas of the area I'm driving, the warm sun on my body, the wind blowing by me, the feeling of openness and freedom, the sounds of that twin cam four with the mechanical whirling and the exhaust singing! This is what we love about our cars and why we won't settle for anything less!
 
#29 · (Edited)
Spider Door stays and Milano starters hands down,

Door stays may be easy to replace on a car with manual window regulators, but the job gets ridiculously complicated on those with motorized regulators. I use a father/son team of professional mechanics with more than 75 years combined experience on Alfas for stuff I don't want to tackle. They basically refused to replace the driver's door stay on my 91 Veloce. I took a look myself since there would be no need to crawl around on the floor with limited access to nuts and bolts. They were right--it's just too much work for something that should be simple.

As far as Milano starters, it should not be necessary to remove the exhaust manifold, release the motor mounts, jack up the engine, struggle for an hour trying to line up the holes on the housing while balancing a heavy starter in one hand, attach and torque the unit basically impossible because of the ratchet extension needed, set the engine back on the mounts and torque them, reinstall the exhaust manifold while somehow balancing the entire exhaust system to align the manifold and torquing the nuts (again iffy at best for those on the bottom side) so that there are no leaks.
 
#30 ·
Autobroker, you have obviously been down the road, maybe the same one I have!

That post almost brought me to tears, my man... I could hear Pavarotti singing Verdi in the background, with a choir :grin2:

I'm with you man, some of the toughest jobs I've ever done were not on an Alfa. One exception being my S4 Spider's RH motor mount (hats off to my son Mike for getting those little bolts started up there).

Saluti...
 
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#31 ·
Well, according to a couple of previous posts all you need is to be patient, study the parts, learn their relationships and then simply do the job. A simple, straightforward, task that mainly involves understanding some cosmic facts that just are incomprehensible to the unenlightened.

As a life-long wrench turner I'm skeptical but perhaps a lucky few truly possess the Secret Knowledge.
 
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#32 · (Edited)
Over this past winter I swapped out my 2L cylinder head for a new one. It took me three weeks of pounding, pulling, prying, shaking, soaking and lifting to get the old cylinder head off. Ruined two spark plug holes and a cylinder head removal tool in the process.

Another dandy I remember is trying to change a universal joint in my BMW E34’s steering in situ. Trying to slip a 2”-long u-joint into the 1.5”-long gap between two splined rods took several days.

Oh yeah, almost forgot: doing that same cylinder head swap, the brass coolant bleed screw was seized in the coolant manifold. I broke an extractor and cracked the manifold trying to remove it. Extracting the broken extractor took hours. In the end, a grinding bit on a Dremel did it. Fixing the cracked manifold was relatively easy (Dremel out the crack, fill it with JB putty, sand and run a tap through the hole — it’s holding up well).
 
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