A joke section?

[jacques94086]

Yogi Berra in his later years, when asked how he felt, replied,
" I feel great. I feel more now like I used to than I did then....."

[Alfastruns]

Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them "It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro." "Vot do you mean it's illegal?" asks the German driver. "Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official. "Quattro is just ze name of ze fokken automobile" the Germans retort unbelievingly. "Look at ze dam papers: ze car is designed to karry 5 persons." "You canta pulla thata one on me!" replies the Italian customs officer. "Quattro meansa four. You have five-a people ina your car and you are thereforea breaking the law." The German driver replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your zupervisor over. I vant to speak to someone viz more intelligence!" "Sorry" responds the Italian officer, "He can'ta come. He'sa busy witha 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."

[Nicola]

Now, you gotta admit, that's funny!!

[Alfastruns]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nicola Now, you gotta admit, that's funny!!

[ShadeTree]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alfastruns He'sa busy witha 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."

[veloce49]

From Warren Buffett in the Berkshire Hathaway Annual Report.
A senior citizen is driving home from work when he a receives a call from his wife. Henry, be careful, I just heard a report on the radio that someone is driving in the wrong direction on the Interstate. Mabel he says, they got it wrong, you wouldn't believe it, there are hundreds of them driving in the wrong direction.

[Alfastruns]

I was in a pub last night


and saw two "girls of size" (as PC now requires us to say) by the bar.

They both spoke with a brogue accent, and making assumptions about their origins I said, "Hello, are you two girls from Scotland?"

One of them screamed, "It's WALES you fuc!ing idiot!"

So I immediately apologized and said: "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"


I don't remember to much after that.

[tubut]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alfastruns I was in a pub last night and saw two "girls of size" (as PC now requires us to say) by the bar. They both spoke with a brogue accent, and making assumptions about their origins I said, "Hello, are you two girls from Scotland?" One of them screamed, "It's WALES you fuc!ing idiot!" So I immediately apologized and said: "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?" I don't remember to much after that.

[salieri164]

A friend of mine told me this “joke” in the bar while I was into mine 4th pint...and I don’t know what the hell he was thinking!
Anyways...here it is:

Why Alfa driver don’t flash headlights to another Alfa? ...They just saw each other in the service.

[neo297]

My sons and I were in pain from laughing so much as we read these. They are actual reviews posted on Amazon .com uk's site for veet hair removal cream, the titles for the individual reviews are funny but you have to read the reviews themselves. The first page or two will do I got this from a joke section on one of the motorcycle forums I am a member of. I have no direct experience with veet- thats my story and I'm sticking to it. I have not read all the jokes here so if this has been posted before sorry for those who may not have seen this pee first before reading.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-revi...owViewpoints=0

[ARwrench]

[veloce49]

LOL. Xcellent

[Alfastruns]

First picture from the new Mars rover !

[fgsavoia]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alfastruns Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them "It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro." "Vot do you mean it's illegal?" asks the German driver. "Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official. "Quattro is just ze name of ze fokken automobile" the Germans retort unbelievingly. "Look at ze dam papers: ze car is designed to karry 5 persons." "You canta pulla thata one on me!" replies the Italian customs officer. "Quattro meansa four. You have five-a people ina your car and you are thereforea breaking the law." The German driver replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your zupervisor over. I vant to speak to someone viz more intelligence!" "Sorry" responds the Italian officer, "He can'ta come. He'sa busy witha 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."

[aralfa8589]

A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says "Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away." The next day, the man says, "Did you do what I told you to?" "Yes, I sure did. Worked perfectly. By the way, you have a nice house!"